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Britain’s cunning plan.

Dear Reader,

do not be fooled by Boris Johnson, I can reveal his cunning plans for Brexit.

The tousled haired new P.M. and his inconguously pre war House Leader Jacob Rees-Mogg are focussed on bringing back unkempt hedge rows, blowing english roses, sundrenched village pubs, the church clock at ten to three and definitely honey still for tea.

Doubling down on Britain’s imperial past they are taking the nation back to its glory days of Empire and the Imperial system of weights and measures.

 – A”chain” just 22 yards to you perhaps, but vital to the British DNA as the precise length of a cricket pitch;

– A “furlong” 10 chains and still used at Ascot, Goodward, Epsom and other classy racing establishments;

And there are many others – some seriously historic – “bushells” will take them back to Henry 111, the 13th Century and the equivalent of 4 “pecks”. See if the eurocrats in Brussels can get their heads around that. The continent will be cut off not by fog this time so much as the daunting other world complexity of Mogg. Negotiate your way out of that Marcel, Dimitri or Hermann – you won’t even undertand the language.

And like all great plans, this one just keeps getting better.

The soft days of Elizabethan England and Empire takes out, at a stroke, any worries over new technologies, currencies, regional claims to sovereignty or the Irish question. A bucolic Britain reverts to fox hunting, a pint at the pub, cricket on the green, and the old class system where those on top wore double breasted suits, old school ties and had double barrell names.

Now Churchill would never have thought of that!

Have a good day, James

*The new Leader of the House of Commons wants to revert to the old system of weights and measures.